1. Do you think God farts? Is that thunder?
2. What would happen if I put chocolate syrup in the fish tank? (asked this yesterday, in fact)
3. Can we get another dog? (we have three)
4. Can I get a pet duck?
5. All right then, how about a pet chicken?
6. Can we put soap and water all over the kitchen floor and make our own slip 'n' slide?
7. Can I carry the goldfish in my pocket just for a little while?
8. What if I take the goldfish in the shower, then?
9. Why do you have gray hair?
10. I just put worms in the refrigerator again. Do you think Santa Claus will remember all the way until Christmas?
Showing posts with label REALLY NAUGHTY. Show all posts
Showing posts with label REALLY NAUGHTY. Show all posts
Monday, May 4, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Three Hours
I give up.
I do.
Okay, so Demon Baby "sensed" I had a deadline today. I begged him to behave, but he got my vibe. I was tense and tired and working 14 hours. It's a blessing to work from home as a writer. But it has its downside occasionally.
So Demon decided today was a naked day. Even in front of the mailman and the neighbor.
OK. I can deal with that.
Today was also a day to find Baby Girl's stash of markers and color his body from head to toe.
I've reached a point where, you know, you want your penis colored purple, go ahead.
But today was the day I got a new vacuum. I LOVE my new vacuum.
And today, he dumped an ENTIRE, industrial size, have it for Superbowl TUB of CHEETOS on Oldest Son's carpet (Oldest Son had brought it up to eat some). I am talking a BARREL of it. BARREL! Costco barrel.
And then Demon Baby danced on them. Pulverized them into the carpet.
And then added a tube of toothpaste.
This while Baby Girl was in the bathroom and doing homework. And Oldest Son was . . . well, I guess watching TV.
And Oldest Son, knowing I was on deadline, decided he would be the man of the house and vacuum it up with the new vacuum cleaner. Only he didn't think to first PICK UP all the balls of Cheetos. Instead, he was going to vacuum them up. A BARREL of them. A whole barrel.
Eureka vacuums aren't intended to do this.
It's destroyed.
I cried.
Demon was chastised.
Three hours.
The new vacuum cleaner didn't last THREE hours against him.
I do.
Okay, so Demon Baby "sensed" I had a deadline today. I begged him to behave, but he got my vibe. I was tense and tired and working 14 hours. It's a blessing to work from home as a writer. But it has its downside occasionally.
So Demon decided today was a naked day. Even in front of the mailman and the neighbor.
OK. I can deal with that.
Today was also a day to find Baby Girl's stash of markers and color his body from head to toe.
I've reached a point where, you know, you want your penis colored purple, go ahead.
But today was the day I got a new vacuum. I LOVE my new vacuum.
And today, he dumped an ENTIRE, industrial size, have it for Superbowl TUB of CHEETOS on Oldest Son's carpet (Oldest Son had brought it up to eat some). I am talking a BARREL of it. BARREL! Costco barrel.
And then Demon Baby danced on them. Pulverized them into the carpet.
And then added a tube of toothpaste.
This while Baby Girl was in the bathroom and doing homework. And Oldest Son was . . . well, I guess watching TV.
And Oldest Son, knowing I was on deadline, decided he would be the man of the house and vacuum it up with the new vacuum cleaner. Only he didn't think to first PICK UP all the balls of Cheetos. Instead, he was going to vacuum them up. A BARREL of them. A whole barrel.
Eureka vacuums aren't intended to do this.
It's destroyed.
I cried.
Demon was chastised.
Three hours.
The new vacuum cleaner didn't last THREE hours against him.
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