Saturday, May 31, 2008

I Live in a Cheap Diner and My Kid Is a Frat Boy

Just found out.

Demon Baby loves gum. He doesn't get to have it often. But it's a treat once in a while.

No more.

Demon Baby apparently sticks his gum under the kitchen table. Like a cheap diner or your 7th-grade school desk.

Oh, there's more.

He now likes to pee outside. In fact, if he's in the yard, chances are he is now marking his territory. Like some beer-addled frat boy.

I live in a diner. My kid is in Phi Kappa Grossness.

12 comments:

conley730 said...

My kids are going through a "gotta have gum" phase right now. If they'd just keep it in their mouths I wouldn't mind so much, but of course that's too much to ask a 3-year old! I guess I should be thankful they're not out marking their territory. Thank God for small favors!

Jude Hardin said...

The great outdoors. One big bathroom.

It's a boy thing.

Erica Orloff said...

Conley:
See? My Demon Baby is a source of greta gratitude for nearly every mother I know. As in THANK GOD, he is NOT MINE.
E

Erica Orloff said...

Jude:
I figured as much. My oldest son, though, never went through that phase.
E

Robin said...

When my boys were young, I took them for a bike ride around the block that took about two hours. ("My legs hurt! I'm hungry! I'm thirsty! My balls hurt!)
Halfway through they had to go pee. I pointed at a tree and said, "How about over there?"
They went to the tree, stood with their backs to the tree, and pee'd into the street.
They're sort of normal now, if it's any consolation.

Robin said...

When my boys were young, I took them for a bike ride around the block that took about two hours. ("My legs hurt! I'm hungry! I'm thirsty! My balls hurt!)
Halfway through they had to go pee. I pointed at a tree and said, "How about over there?"
They went to the tree, stood with their backs to the tree, and pee'd into the street.
They're sort of normal now, if it's any consolation.

Erica Orloff said...

Robin:
THAT'S HYSTERICAL!!!!!!!

Utterly priceless.
E

Suzanne Perazzini said...

Little boys and sometimes big boys too have a different sense of hygiene. I think we women will never completely understand them. Maybe it's best to not even try.

Jude Hardin said...

Too funny, Robin!!!!

Erica Orloff said...

Suzanne:
I agree. Some things are best left a mystery.

:-)
E

Sarah Laurenson said...

Hilarious, Robin.

My ex's son wanted to emulate the dogs as much as possible and, of course, that included marking his territory. He was 10 at the time.

Erica Orloff said...

sarah:
I wonder that there's any hope for the male species sometimes.

E