Saturday, July 19, 2008

Traveling Nine Hours in a Car with Demon Baby

Note: The trip was SUPPOSED to take six hours.

A summarized play-by-play of driving a long distance for vacation with Demon Baby.

Leave driveway. Get to the stop sign at end of street. Demon Baby says, "I need my orange sippie cup." Know there will be NO PEACE if the purple one is taken on trip instead of orange one. Drive back for orange sippie cup. Four minutes into the trip. Have not traveled one foot.

Leave driveway again. Get to end of street. Make a right. Leave neighborhood. Get two lights up.

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"How 'bout now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No. Don't ask me for at least a half hour."

Two minutes later. "Has it been a half hour?"

Drive on highway. "I'm hungry."

"What do you want? I have the peanut butter cookies you like, I have bananas, I have a sandwich for you."

"I want miso soup."

"I don't have miso soup."

"But I want it."

"You'll have to wait."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

Drive for five minutes.

"I need to pee."

Find bathroom at a McDonald's. He decides he wants fries. Been on road 45 minutes. Have not traveled more then 10 miles.

Get on road.

"I'm tired."

"Good. Go to sleep."

"But I want to sleep with you in the big bed."

"We can't fit the big bed in the car."

"I think I have to poop."

"Why didn't you go in the McDonald's?"

We all know the answer to that. "Because I didn't have to then."

Do the math. We arrived at 6:30 a.m. (I prefer to drive at night.) I needed a cocktail from the stress. It was happy hour somewhere.

The ride home was equally horrific. We searched for a rest room at 11:00 P.M. for Demon who insisted, again, he had to go potty. I was unfortunate enough to take an exit from I-95 where despite a sign proclaiming gas stations and food, all signs of civilization were five miles off. If it is NOT AT THE HIGHWAY, do not post there is a restaurant at that exit!!! I hate highway planners. They are unkind to traveling American Moms like me.

It is good to be home.

But it was a marvelous vacation. I got to pay attention to Demon Baby and he was a very, very happy little boy. Will post some pictures.

14 comments:

Travis Erwin said...

But think of the memories you created. ;)

spyscribbler said...

Awwww! DH hates traveling with me, because there's something about the car that makes me need to pee every 45 minutes or so. And there's something about the car that makes me need to pee BAD.

I have miso soup for breakfast every morning. Miso soup rocks.

Erica Orloff said...

travis:
Actually, the trip totally rocked because my kids were so joyous the whole time! :-) Except for the car . . . except for the car . . .
E

Erica Orloff said...

Spy:
I just made shrimp scampi. Demon wouldn't eat a bite. I cleared the plates . . . . and he said, "I WANT SUSHI!" That kid and miso and sushi!!
E

Suzanne Perazzini said...

Sushi and miso - yum! My favorite foods.
Nine hours in a car with a small child? A recipe for disaster or a meltdown so congratulations on surviving it.

Robin said...

Funny to read this post, because I'm in Boston now with my teenage nitwits. I find I get too sleepy driving all the way, so we took the train. It was awesome! I slept, read, listened to a book on tape, and gave the boys money for food every so often. I'm donating my stupid car to charity. (Can't really imagine Demon Baby on a train, though.)

Erica Orloff said...

Hi Suzanne:
Like I said, I had it planned for SIX hours driving at night. Seemed a good plan. HA! AND . . . that plan was based on previous trip on which diapers were a factor. Post-toilet-trained . . . OMG . . . !

LOL!

Erica Orloff said...

Robin:
I do think of the train sometimes. I want to travel North for Thanksgiving, and have yet to figure out just how I am going to do that.
E

laughingwolf said...

lol... at least db keeps you young! ;)

hope you use stainless steel and/or heavy glass sippy cups, plastic ones have been found to contain toxins, and no longer sold around here

Melanie Avila said...

Another great story! I look forward to DB posts. Thanks for sharing. :)

Erica Orloff said...

laughing wolf:
REALLY??? I use Playtex. Bought last month. Off to research the 'net.
E

Erica Orloff said...

Hi Melanie:
Glad my misery amuses you. ;-) (Just kidding--he amuses me, too.)
E

laughingwolf said...

apparently the toxin levels are 'within safety limits', but when it comes to wee bairn, NOTHING but 100% is good enough, for me... the demand here for stainless steel containers for kids can't be met....

Erica Orloff said...

laughing wolf:
Stainless it will be!
E