Monday, May 4, 2009

Top Ten Random Questions Demon Baby Has Asked Me

1. Do you think God farts? Is that thunder?

2. What would happen if I put chocolate syrup in the fish tank? (asked this yesterday, in fact)

3. Can we get another dog? (we have three)

4. Can I get a pet duck?

5. All right then, how about a pet chicken?

6. Can we put soap and water all over the kitchen floor and make our own slip 'n' slide?

7. Can I carry the goldfish in my pocket just for a little while?

8. What if I take the goldfish in the shower, then?

9. Why do you have gray hair?

10. I just put worms in the refrigerator again. Do you think Santa Claus will remember all the way until Christmas?

12 comments:

pita-woman said...

Love #1!!
I've been on vacation this past week, so it's good to get back to reading the Demon Baby saga.

Erica Orloff said...

Hi Pita-Woman:
Yeah, #1 was asked of me at bedtime prayers on a rainy night last week.

I frankly thought . . . hmm . . . that might be so. Who am I to say?
E

Melanie Avila said...

These are awesome! I just read them to my hubby. :)

with.much.love said...

#1 is just too funny! Who knows? Could be true.

Erica Orloff said...

Melanie:
Yeah. He's not getting a chicken.

E

Erica Orloff said...

with.much.love:

Exactly. I mean, it's not like we can ask God.

E

Cheryl Kauffman said...

I love #1! Did you tell him the cause of your gray hair?

Erica Orloff said...

Cheryl:
I am very frank that he is the number-one cause of my gray hair. :-)
E

Robin said...

What is it about kids and a freaking menagerie? My younger son used to constantly ask for animals - a gerbil, a dolphin, a monkey. Plus the two dogs we already had.

I figured the gerbil was easiest, so for his birthday I took him to the pet store to look at gerbil babies. Some were dead. The pet store guy explained that baby gerbils eat the weak ones' heads. Alex decided to forget the gerbil idea. Rotten little cannibals.

Erica Orloff said...

Robin:
Oh . . . that is GROSS. We once had a "fancy mouse" named Kimmie who was my favorite of all the kids' pets. She was SO sweet. But then she gave two of them salmonella. Kid you not.

E

Bina said...

#2? My daughter used to always try to sneak things in the fish tank. Yesterday, I found a pin! Yes, the kind you use to hold seams together during sewing. It was at the bottom of the tank. I said, "How did THAT get in there?" She looked, squinted, looked puzzled and said, "Hmmm, I'm not sure".

Erica Orloff said...

Bina:
LOL! Playing innocent is one of Demon Baby's ploys, too.

We also had an incident in which he put mozorella cheese sticks in the fish tank. The smell was horrific.
E