Thursday, August 6, 2009

Top Ten Reasons You Don't Let Demon Baby Near Water


1. He will drown your tomato plants.
2. He will drench your front hallway with the garden hose he brings inside.
3. He will hose you down when you are on your way to a meeting.
4. He will create a LOT of mud.
5. The dogs like mud.
6. He will "wash" your bathroom mirror with a combination of toothpaste and soapy water.
7. He will see which household objects float in the bathtub.
8. Your favorite book does not float.
9. Neither does your hairbrush or your underwear.
10. Your kitchen ceiling will eventually give up from all the water leaking from UPSTAIRS . . . into the DOWNSTAIRS.

14 comments:

Aimless Writer said...

Oy!

Realmcovet said...

Labels: 'Destruction'.

Too funny for words. I'm sorry that is happening, but at the same time it is only making you all the more famous in my book. ;P

Melanie Avila said...

Eek!

wv: extra -- no kidding.

Erica Orloff said...

Aimless:
Well said.

LOL!
E

Erica Orloff said...

Realm:
Destruction is right. :-)
E

Erica Orloff said...

Melanie:
Yes, a well-voiced eek sounds appropriate.
E

Cheryl Kauffman said...

Just think he owes you bigtime when he grows up.

Erica Orloff said...

Cheryl:
Unless I live to like 108, there is no way he could every repay me for all the gray hair. :-)
E

pita-woman said...

Okay, seriously, you need to gather up all these blogs and whatever other capers he's gotten into and put them in a book and have it published. It should be mandatory reading for all new parents.
He's providing you with enough new material you could create a sequel every 3-4 years.

fakefrenchie said...

I second Pitawoman's comment. You really need to write a book about the DB.

Erica Orloff said...

Pia-Woman:
I actually am working on a book proposal. I hope to have it to my literary agent in September.

E

Erica Orloff said...

FF:
I am working on it. It is hard to distill him in words. LOL!
E

KathArine said...

lol!

Your book could be required reading in high school health classes--a great deterrent to accidental pregnancy.

Richmond Writer said...

At least you know where the studs are now.