Saturday, October 17, 2009

Playing Pretend with Demon Baby


This child's look says it all. He lives life with imagination and mischief.
So last night, Demon Baby and I played "restaurant." He cooked. I was the food taster. He has a lot of plastic food, an apron, a few utensils, and a play stove. He cooked me an assortment of food.
"Taste!" he commanded.
"Delicious."
"Quantify. How many stars?"
"How many stars?"
"For your review?"
"Oh. Five stars. I quantify this as a five-star meal."
"I need a BILLION lady."
"Then you better cook more food."
He went about cooking even more gourmet meals.
He fed me.
"Now how many stars?"
"A hundred thousand." (I mean, if I had to get to a BILLION . . .)
"That's better."
He cooked more. I had to feign rapture over each dish. "Delicious! . . . My compliments to the chef."
"You need to eat faster."
"Why?"
"Before a bomb explodes in my restaurant and sends us all to smithereens." (Only Demon Baby would combine worldwide destruction and playing restaurant.)
"Um . . . that's not a nice thought."
"These are not nice aliens, lady."
So I ate faster. "I'm really getting FULL, chef," I said after about a half-hour.
"I have JUST the solution for situations like these."
"What?"
"Open your mouth."
"But I'm full."
"Just open your mouth."
He approached me with his tiny pretend dust-buster vacuum. He held it up to my mouth. "This device sucks all the food out of you so you can eat again. You won't be full in about one minute. Just hold still."
So he sucked out all the food. "How very Roman of you, Demon Baby."
"It's not Roman. We just need to finish all this food before the aliens destroy our planet. It would be a shame to waste a five-star meal."

12 comments:

Cheryl Kauffman said...

Seems like with your son's imagination and your daughter's talent for filming, they would make a great team. Also, I hope your daughter is feeling better and you can get some rest.

Erica Orloff said...

Hi Cheryl:
Yes, that's what the world needs. A movie in which a restaurant is set upon by aliens. LOL!

And thanks. She is feeling better enough to whine that she is bored. As for me and rest. Not likely. Maybe in 15 years or so.

:-)
E

Melanie Avila said...

That is hilarious!

Erica Orloff said...

Melanie:
I swear I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried!!!
E

fakefrenchie said...

You should channel Demon Baby for your next book.

Nadine said...

This was adorable!! And I love that he could vacuum all the food out! Man, I would love that! Being able to eat several gourmet meals in one sitting and not leaving full - sounds divine!

I also think it's so cute that he calls you Lady!

Erica Orloff said...

Frenchie:
I am not sure anyone would believe it. LOL!
E

Erica Orloff said...

Nadine:
It's actually a gross-amazing invention on his part!

And yes, I answer to Mama, Mom, Lady, Sexy-Beautiful, Sexy-Lovely, Erica (on occasion), Gorgeous, and Mama Bear.

Richmond Writer said...

I saved all the play food from when my kids were little. They loved playing restaurant. I don't think they ever thought to blow it up though.

Erica Orloff said...

Richmond:
Yeah . . . I'm thinking the aliens blowing up the restaurant is rather unique.
E

pita-woman said...

I think maybe DB has hit upon a new weight-loss alternative to anorexia or liposuction... suck the food out with the dust-buster! ROFL!!!

Erica Orloff said...

Pita:
I know. Both sick and inventive, I have to say.