Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Naked Strike, Week II

Negotiations between Management and Demon Baby have broken down.

Total nakedness enters Week 2.

We went to the planetarium. I told him planetarium outings required clothes. He consented. Briefly. We started walking inside.

"I need to take off my shoes and socks."

"Why?"

"They itch me."

"You have to wear shoes and socks or you can't see the planets and stars inside."

Huffing his displeasure, he followed me inside.

"I have to go to the bathroom."

I led him to the ladies room. He chose a stall. "I'm locking it so you don't look at me while I pee."

"I've seen it all before, Demon Baby."

"Still . . . KEEP OUT."

I could see him shedding clothes underneath the stall door.

"Demon Baby, open this bathroom stall right now."

"NO!"

He emerged, as you can imagine, naked. BUT wearing his shoes and socks.

"You cannot tour the planetarium naked. We'll be kicked out. I may appreciate your Naked Strike, but the Planetarium Union will not accept this."

"Why?"

"Because, generally, people wear clothes in public."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Well, that's stupid."

"Don't say stupid, that's potty mouth."

"I love potty mouth."

"I know. Get dressed."

Huffing again. "Fine. But I'm not wearing underwear."

"Commando it is. Just put on CLOTHES."

He did. As soon as we got home, talks further broke down.

Naked Strike continues.

20 comments:

The Anti-Wife said...

Has he started carrying around little picket signs yet?

Erica Orloff said...

Anti-wife:
Um . . . no, he tends to clutch . . . a certain appendage.

:-)
E

Suzanne Perazzini said...

Mmmm, this one would have me stumped too. Just as well it's not winter.

Travis Erwin said...

All males clutch that appendage. We like to keep track of it.

spyscribbler said...

My money's on performer of some sort when he grows up. :-) I think this might be an important step in his plan for world domination.

I used to run down the middle of the street, tearing off my clothes.

Oh, you wanted us to feel compassion for you? It's there, but I gotta tell you, Demon Baby already has us wrapped around his pinky. And he doesn't even know us yet!

Erica Orloff said...

Suzanne:
As Management's representative, I am trying to act completely nonplussed. He's even been naked in front of my preacher-friend . . . and I basically said something along the lines of "Adam was naked." What can you do?
E

Erica Orloff said...

Travis:
Trust me on this one. You can't lose it.

LOL!
E

Erica Orloff said...

Spy:
Yes, I was looking for a little sympathy. LOL!

E

Robin said...

You just have to be more specific in your instructions. You left a loophole, Dude. Think "tight". (Maybe Demon Baby has his own little mini lawyer helping him find the loopholes. Look everywhere.)

Erica Orloff said...

Robin:
LOL! I need to get a better lawyer.
E

Melanie Avila said...

Maybe part of the negotiations should state that he can skip underwear if he wears shorts?

Erica Orloff said...

melanie:
Management will take that under advisement at the next settlement talks.

Today he went out naked in the pouring rain, carrying a mop onto the lawn.

I give the kids points for eccentricity.
E

laughingwolf said...

lol... stupid he ain't NEVER gonna be ;)

Erica Orloff said...

laughing wolf:

The three older kids all test gifted/genius. Oldest will look at him, look at me, and say, "In a family of smart people, he is already the smartest. And that's scary . . . because it's genius AND the mayhem gene"--vs. the other three being fairly mellow souls. Oldest is a classical violinist (girl), Older Brother is a math genius/chess fiend, next is a girl--tests way high with a creative side . . . artist/poet. Neat kids. And then along comes the Demon. Watch out, world.

E

Jude Hardin said...

Try not to worry, Erica. Most male children go through this phase. If my own experience is any indication, he should be over it by his 14th birthday.

laughingwolf said...

how cool is that, db already seen as the one to watch? :)

grats ma, ye dun goode! ;)

Erica Orloff said...

Jude:
Comforting.

:-)
E

Erica Orloff said...

Laughing Wolf:
I like to say he's the one to watch. Watch your BACK. LOL!
E

laughingwolf said...

at least at his current size it can't be too fatal! :O lol

Erica Orloff said...

laughing wolf:
Believe me, that comforts me to no end at times. There's his mayhem . . . and his scheming, but there is a limit since he is 35 pounds soaking wet.

E