I've decided Demon Baby should run for president. First of all, there is no foreign leader on the face of the planet who wouldn't tremble at the sight of this little guy. The havoc he can wreak with maple syrup alone would send them scurrying. And think? If he can destroy a house with a single roll of toilet paper and a bottle of maple syrup, we can save billions in our defense budget.
Domestic policy? The kid's a natural. As in au naturale. OBVIOUSLY, he must be a libertarian. A free spirit. An advocate for what you do in your own home--such as remain stark naked for three months running (a new world record!) is your own business. A fierce advocate of privacy, he wouldn't tell anyone what to do.
Help for the poor? He has no problem sharing. He'd even willingly donate all his clothes to charity.
In short . . . Demon Baby is your man.
Um . . . Demon.
I'm Demon Baby's mother . . . and I approved this message.