Tuesday, June 9, 2009

How to Fix a Demon Baby Boo-Boo

It may come as a shock to long-time readers of this blog that Demon Baby has not broken a bone yet. Nor required stitches. Frankly, I'm shocked as his older siblings--who were much more mellow children--have broken bones (one thumb, one arm), and needed stitches (forehead). This is further proof that he is a Demon Baby Superhero.

However, yesterday, he fell and had a blood mouth and five small cuts on his chin, shoulder, knee, hand, and chest. This is how you fix a Demon Baby boo-boo.

1. Tell Demon Baby you will put ice on his mouth while he shrieks thinking "all" his blood is coming out of him.

2. Open up an ENTIRE box of Band-Aids (reason will soon be apparent . . . keep reading).

3. Clean the VERY SMALL cuts on hand, knee, chest, chin, shoulder.

4. Put on Neosporin.

5. Place one Band-Aid on each cut.

6. "When will I be healed?" says Demon Baby.

7. "In a day."

8. "Do I heave to wear this Band-Aid?"

9."No."

10. Demon Baby removes five Band-Aids. When he see he STILL has a cut there, he cries and asks for new Band-Aids.

11. Open up five new Band-Aids.

12. Repeat steps 6 through 11 until entire box of Band-Aids is gone.

15 comments:

Melanie Avila said...

Aww, poor guy. I hope he's okay!

Erica Orloff said...

Melanie:
They really are tiny little boo-boos, but unusually, the kid doesn't often get cuts. Blood seems to freak him out, poor thing. And he imbues Band-Aids with great power. Hence I keep BOXES around.
E

Cheryl Kauffman said...

I went through this with my son. Then after the regular band aids were gone, he put on his sister's princess band aids.

pita-woman said...

I thought for sure a kiss from mom was one of the main healing ingredients.

Erica Orloff said...

Cheryl:
He doesn't care what's on the Band-aids. Princess is fine. :-)
E

Erica Orloff said...

Pita-woman:
Kissing works for bumps and bruises. Even the most minute sighting of blood requires bandages. LOL!
E

Robin said...

You are so friggin' nice. I would have added step 10.5 where I scream, "What the hell are you doing? Aargh!"

At least, I think I would. But he's soooooo cute. . .

momcat said...

You are a very patient mom. Lets hope he never falls and cuts himself ever again.

Erica Orloff said...

Robin:
I pick my battles. For many other things, there is a Step 10.5. But he DID have a boo-boo. ;-)
E

Erica Orloff said...

momcat:
Either that, or I should buy stock in Band-Aids.
E

KathArine said...

I loved this post!

Isn't it strange how the wild men freak about blood? Mine, too! Getting out of the tub the other night, he saw a fleck of "blood" on his toe. "I'm BLEEDING! I'M BLEEDING! I NEED A BANDAID!" Tears, sobbing, wailing! Me: "Dude, I think that's a piece of red fuzz." Him: "Oh. OK."

Meanwhile my husband is going, "Why do we have nine boxes of bandaids??"

Erica Orloff said...

Katharine:
It's HILARIOUS. I mean, he can fashion a nuclear weapon out of some bobby pins and a few toys, but see a speck of blood and the world is ending.

E

NooMom said...

How do you fix boo-boos on an invisible child? :)

laughingwolf said...

sounds like what i'd expect db to do, from what you've posted to date... well done, mom!

Erica Orloff said...

NooMom:
Demon Baby has a "magical friend" who is invisible. I occasionally kiss the air in the general vicinity of where I hope Magical Friend is, and that seems to cure his boo-boos.

:-)
E