Monday, March 31, 2008

Demon Confinement

I have now learned what the results are from keeping Demon Baby confined in the car for seven hours. It's akin to, once released, unleashing the power of splitting atoms.

Unable to do more than scream his displeasure for seven hours, restrained in a car seat, we arrived home.

In TEN minutes, and I am NOT exaggerating for effect . . . in the time it took me to haul in three suitcases and assorted crap, he:

  • Took one bath towel, put it in the upstairs sink, turned on the faucet and flooded the upstairs bathroom
  • Took off his pants and peed in the family room (THAT'S letting mom know you're mad!)
  • And . . . in a stroke of sheer demonic brilliance, even for him . . . took a full tube of toothpaste and squeezed it out on my jewelry

Ahh, the joys of travel.


Aimless Writer said...

I was waiting for this-lol.
I just knew there'd be a Demon Baby adventure from all this traveling.
Well, one positive note; toothpaste is a good jewelry cleaner. :)

Erica Orloff said...

He was actually a SAINT while in NY. He had my attention nearly constantly, and no fighting my computer for my love. :-) He just wants ME all the time. Which would be great if I didn't have three other kids and a career (albeit I work from home).


conley730 said...

I'm trying to figure out how you didn't go completely insane on the 7 hour drive home! Isn't amazing how quickly they can move while in destruction mode?!?

Erica Orloff said...

On the way THERE, I LEFT my house at 1:00 a.m. and drove through the night so he would sleep (HA!). he didn't sleep, but he was semi-tired/sleepy and would doze. Except for one crying jag in Baltimore (in a SCARY crime-ridden exit parking lot when I had to comfort him), it wasn't bad. On the way BACK, I drove in daylight, and he was a bear. He kept saying, "I want to go HOME!" And I would explain we were going home, and he would say, "NOW!" The concept of "far" is just too vague for a little guy.


spyscribbler said...

I should try that with DH, see if he ever leaves again, hah! I relate to Demon Baby, at the moment. It's taking so long for DH to come home, it feels like it's never going to happen. Even though I know he doesn't have any control over the matter, I still feel mad!

Erica Orloff said...

Hi Spy:
I know. I can "feel" for poor Demon. I really can. But I was half-nuts by the time I got home.

Suzanne Perazzini said...

I have no idea how you are still sane. What a nightmare! As much as I appreciate bored and grumpy in a child, a mother in a mental institute ain't going to help them any. I know, I know - at the end of the day, it is we adults who put our kids in situations that make them behave abominably but sometimes there is little choice.

Erica Orloff said...

Hi Suzanne:
If you talk to my children, my sanity is greatly debated. ;-)

The Anti-Wife said...

Wow, he's really fast. Next time I prescribe drugs - for both of you!

Erica Orloff said...

I have understood now, why some mothers want to give little kids Benedryl for traveling. ;-)