Sunday, March 2, 2008

Sprinkled Nudity

This will be a short one. Because really, what more is there to say?

It's Sunday.

I took a shower. I got dressed. I combed my hair. I got Child #2 and Child #3 up and they got ready for church. I dressed Demon Baby for church (jeans and a sweater) and settled him in with a video and some juice downstairs in the TV room, while I brushed my teeth and put on lipstick and a fast coat of mascara upstairs.

Note to self: Any time there is more than 3 feet between me and Demon Baby, trouble results.

The three of us (me, Child #2, and Child #3) went downstairs. I walked into the family room.

And there was the now-NAKED Demon Baby. And while I was in the bathroom, he took out a vanilla ice cream cup from the freezer, and found a full bottle of multicolored sprinkles.

And suffice it to say, he, his feet, his stomach, his hair, his face, and most importantly his penis . . . were all . . . covered in vanilla ice cream and sprinkles.

It is Sunday.

You can guess that ALL my prayers were for patience.

Because I am convinced even the mother of GOD would have gray hair from this Demon Baby.

22 comments:

conley730 said...

I laughed so hard about this! My boys love to be naked too and I just pray they're not as creative as Demon Baby. So.....did you make it to church?

Erica Orloff said...

Conley:
I did, indeed, make it to church, but only because I am the Minister of Pastries (i.e., the person who makes coffee for the congregation and serves pastry) and thus have a LARGE time buffer in order for the coffee to brew.

However, I was informed by the staff of the nursery (Oldest Son works volunteers with the babies in there), that they were picking little bits of sprinkles out of his hair all morning.

:-)
E

conley730 said...

LMAO!!!

Erica Orloff said...

Conley:
Yes . . . if I didn't laugh, I would surely cry. ;-)
E

lainey bancroft said...

Ice cream? Brrr. You'd think the temperature would have put him off before he got to the more...hmm, personal parts? LOL.

With his food obsession, maybe he's going to be a chef. But then again, if he likes to be coated in ice cream, maple syrup etc, perhaps he has better prospects in the erotic writing or film industry. :0

Erica Orloff said...

lainey:
OK, my next Demon blog post has to do with his lullbay selections. Suffice it to say . . . I expect him to be like Flea or some guitarist who likes to be naked on stage. I expect piercing, tattoos, and blue hair. He definitely is a head-banger, metal-head.
E

Wendy Toliver said...

Hahaha! Too funny! i hope you got a photo of that. :)I'm surprised you made it to church, BTW. You're GOOD!

Gerb said...

LOL! Sounds like my own demon children. :)

Erica Orloff said...

Wendy:
I have had more people tell me--from this blog--that I NEED to have a camera ready for this stuff. But usually, I am SO stressed out, so dismayed by the MESSES he makes that I cannot even have my wits about me to snap a photo.
E

Erica Orloff said...

Gerb:
They're gonna take over the world.
E

Ello said...

This is what I am missing in life having only girls! Oh how funny!

Erica Orloff said...

ello:
yes. The joy.

:-)
E

The Anti-Wife said...

I'm thinking you've got a future Chippendale on your hands!

J. L. Krueger said...

Yee Gads! Wife and I are dying laughing!

Coulda been worse...I'll have a poop story for you at a later time.

Stephen Parrish said...

Tell Demon Baby that putting cold ice cream on your you-know-what will stunt its growth.

Not that I would know, but you can ask JLK about his experiences.

Erica Orloff said...

anti-wife:
Hmm . . . hadn't thought of THAt career choice. LOL!

Erica Orloff said...

JLK:
Trust me, I have, unfortunately or unfortunately, depedning on how you look at, a MILLION of these stories. LOL!
E

Erica Orloff said...

stephen:
At this point, I could tell him that, but he still thinks of the penis as a puppet and it would be unlikely to deter him.

E

J. L. Krueger said...

Erica,

On your MILLION stories...

As do all us parents...and the stories grow exponentially with each additional child.

;)

J. L. Krueger said...

Stephen,

I am quite certain that I can be of absolutely no assistance on the matter as I have no experience with ice cream fertilizer experimentation or the supposed results.

Erica Orloff said...

jlk:
I have four kids. My story bank is deep and plentiful. LOL!
E

Erica Orloff said...

JLK:
I am suspect. Stephen sounds pretty sure about the ice cream.

:-)
E