Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Superpowers

Demon Baby is FASCINATED by superpowers. He is convinced that one karate chop from him will render any monster powerless. He thinks he can shoot fire from his fingertips. Defeat dragons. You name it. He wants the world to be afraid of him. VERY afraid.

And, in fact, we are.

Now, I might add, he is growing up with a mom who . . . well, runs things. So I think he sees me as some sort of superpower mom. Call me Wonder Woman.

So we were driving to the Food Bank to bring donations, and he was in his car seat--naked. Well, underwear only. And I looked in the rearview mirror and he was pinching his chest.

"What are you doing?"

"Pinching my boobs."

"You don't have boobs."

"Well, what do you call THESE?"

"Those are nipples, and boys have them, but only girls and trannies have boobs, so . . . you don't have boobs."

"But boobs are superpowers."

"I like to think so, yes, but sorry, you still don't get them."

"I want superboobs to add to my superpowers."

"Stick with the Karate Chop of Death."

"Okay."

But I still notice him eyeing my obvious superpowers.

13 comments:

Robin said...

That's quite the twist. My husband and boys think their penis' are a super power. You're raising your boy right!

spyscribbler said...

LOL to what both you and Robin said! It's funny to watch them recognize differences. This is much older, but one of my boys has suddenly recognized that his duet partner is a girl.

I'm just tickled pink by how different he is around her. It cracks me up. Last week, she just walked in and said hi, and he blushed all over. I'd never seen him blush, not in seven years!

Erica Orloff said...

Hi Robin:
Oh, don't get me wrong, he is well aware the penis is ALSO it's own superpower. AND handy for peeing outside!
E

Erica Orloff said...

spy:
That is so cute!!!
E

Travis Erwin said...

Sorry to say but most of us males eye those superpowers every chance we get.

Jude Hardin said...

Maybe he can have superpecs to add to his superpowers, just like all the cool comic book guys. ;)

Aimless Writer said...

If this kid doesn't turn out to be a writer there is something wrong with the universe. I think he should start by drawing comic books(superheros-spitting fire from their fingertips!), you can write the words he wants and then he can move onto novels by third grade or so.

Erica Orloff said...

Travis:
I am well aware . . . LOL!

E

Erica Orloff said...

Jude:
Hmm . . . hadn't thought of that. Yes! Superpecs.

Also much nicer for playground-talk then crowing he has superboobs.

E

Erica Orloff said...

Aimless:
Actually, Oldest Brother wrote a comic book that absolutely AWED me. It was really deep. Someone cloned God. And the cone deceived the universe. It was amazing. He wrote it when he was 9. But he doesn't draw. Baby Girl, on the other hand, wins art contests and so on, so I told them they should collaborate. So maybe they should bring Demon Baby on board.
E

laughingwolf said...

that boy WILL go places! ;) lol

Erica Orloff said...

Laughing Wolf:
Yeah. The Playboy Mansion.

:-)
E

Melanie Avila said...

LOL1