Thursday, January 8, 2009

Blue Hair Dreams

Demon Baby is very fascinated by my process for coloring my own hair.

I used to go to a salon to color my hair--P.D.B. (pre-Demon Baby). Now, I am lucky if I can sneak in there for a half-hour for a cut. Hence coloring my own hair. I usually color it very dark brown/black with occasional forays into violet streaks. However, until yesterday, Demon Baby had not been privy to my hair coloring magic.

"What the holy crap is that?" he pointed at the hair coloring box and the plastic gloves I was putting on.

"Hair color."

"What the holy crap is hair color?"

"SEE THESE?" I lifted up the front of my hair to show him I am ALL WHITE up from (having gone prematurely gray at 22).

"HOLY CRAP! It's WHITE!"

"Yeah. And you gave me every one of those white hairs. So now I'm trying to get rid of them."

"With what?"

"Hair dye."

"HAIR DYE! Holy crap! What's hair dye?" (And I wish I could say I was embellishing this conversation, but I am not.)

"It makes the white go away."

"Like magic?"

"Yeah. I'm a Ninja Mama Warrior, so I am magic."

"Swee-ee-eet." (Sweet, pronounced as a three-syllable word.)

"Thanks, Demon Baby. I don't want to look like the wretched hag I feel like some days. I have to maintain my Ninja appearance."

"So what color?"

"Black."

"Go for blue. I'm telling you. Blue would look swee-ee-eet."

"Black."

"Blue."

"How about rainbow?"

"Black."

"Purple?"

"Black."

"Blue. My final offer."

"Demon Baby, I am going to run away to a Ninja temple unless you leave me in peace to color my hair."

"Jesus! No need to be so crabby about it."

"Watch your mouth."

"How can I? I can't see my own mouth."

"Please. I am begging you. My hair is growing grayer by the minute."

"I'm telling you, blue would be a LOT cooler."

So if I end up one of these days with blue hair, you'll know why.

Have a craptastic day.

21 comments:

conley730 said...

At least he didn't want to dye his OWN hair blue! I'm sure that'll be next. Were you able to dye your hair in peace?

Heather Harper said...

Holy Crap, I think I peed myself.

;-)

Erica Orloff said...

Conley:
I have a lot of smears on my cheeks. I usually don't get those, but fending him off . . . .

Hope you and the boys had a lovely New Year's.

E

Erica Orloff said...

Hey Heather:
It's a hazard when he is nearby.

;-)
E

Suzanne Perazzini said...

He sure packs some punch into his dialogue.
I'm glad you won that one.

pita-woman said...

So L.O.L.!

Erica Orloff said...

Suzanne:
He's like a miniature sailor.

E

Erica Orloff said...

pita-woman . . . .

He's "something," is all I can say.

:-)
E

Melanie Avila said...

ROFLMAO!!! I love that the Ninja thing is incorporated into everything. :)

Robin said...

He's such a piece of work! You know, maybe he's onto something with the blue thing...

laughingwolf said...

aww... dinna fret overmuch, lass... the blue rinse crowd is awesome :P lol

Zoe Winters said...

LMAO this is hilarious! You must be a ninja to have warded off his knowledge of your super sekret haircare regimen before now!

booklover said...

LOL. Sounds like me. I sometimes tease my younger sister, telling her that she would look great if she dyed her hair purple.

Chumplet - Sandra Cormier said...

How old is Demon Baby?

I started going grey in my twenties, too. My hair grows fast, so I have to colour my hair EVERY TWO FREAKIN' WEEKS!

So I split the stuff in two, and just do the roots.

Erica Orloff said...

Melanie:
It's all part of my master plan.
E

Erica Orloff said...

Robin:
I could MAYBE see red streaks or something. Blue? Not so much.
E

Erica Orloff said...

Laughing wolf:
SURE. YOU dye your hair blue.

E

Erica Orloff said...

Zoe:
I am a stealth Ninja dyer.
E

Erica Orloff said...

Booklover:
My best friend dyes hers pink, lavender, blue, red, purple, black, platinum, so I guess he assumes that's totally normal around here.
E

Erica Orloff said...

Chumplet:
He is three. A precocious three.

And I do the roots trick, too.
E

laughingwolf said...

i may, once it all turns white... else it'll be black n blue instead of the salt n pepper it is now ;) lol