Okay, so Demon Baby, after being told Ninjas take ritualistic cleansing baths in January as a matter of greeting the New Year (and really, these Ninja myths I am making up are quite complex), agreed to a bath as long as he could squirt a tube of toothpaste in the water AND as long as no hairwashing was involved. We negotiated these finer points, and so a bath was drawn. He takes an ice cold bath, no hot water, again . . . must be a Ninja thing.
So I was doing laundry, bathroom door open, within earshot, and he screamed for me.
"Yes, Demon Baby."
"Can I drown in the bathtub?"
"Well, technically, you could, but you're now 3 1/2 and the water isn't that high and you're fine. I'm right outside the door."
He set about "experimenting" with his bath chemistry. This means he takes shaving cream, soap, shampoo, bubbles and toothpaste and makes "potions."
"Can I have another tube of blue toothpaste?"
"Because toothpaste is expensive and most people really don't BATHE with their toothpaste. You can use a little, but not whole tubes."
I returned to my Mt. Everest of laundry and then heard him shrieking, "MAMA!!!!"
I ran into the bathroom to find he had climbed, NAKED AND SLIPPERY on top of the MARBLE VANITY (can I add SLIPPERY?) where he was clinging to the mirror in an attempt to reach said toothpaste.
After rescuing him, scolding, tears, towels, and my slight heart attack . . . I was reminded for the thousandth time why I have not slept more than in fits and starts since he could start walking.