Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Cooking for a Demon

Foods Demon Baby considers breakfast:

  • noodles with butter
  • peanut butter sandwich with crusts cut off
  • pizza

Foods Demon Baby considers lunch:

  • peanut butter sandwich with crusts cut off
  • Mexican take-out
  • fried ice cream (see item directly above)
  • maraschino cherries in bulk

Foods Demon Baby considers dinner:
  • popcorn
  • maple oatmeal
  • rasberry sherbert
  • noodles with butter and salt
  • corn on the cob

Foods Demon Baby considers snack foods:

  • salt--given access to a salt shaker (I have to hide it), he will lie naked on the couch, pour it into his belly button and eat it from there
  • ice pops
  • maple oatmeal
  • maraschino cherries in bulk
  • Life cereal

Foods Demon Baby considers Ninja Mama's attempts to posion him:

  • ANYTHING with black pepper on it or a hint of spice
  • ANYTHING green
  • ANY foods TOUCHING in ANY WAY ANY OTHER food; he believes in strict food segregation
  • ANYTHING too hot or too cold
  • Cheese
  • Apples with SKIN on them
  • Any dairy products except Yoplait yogurt (clearly, they have some Demonic Pact with the Devil)
  • ANYTHING in an incorrect colored plastic cup (blue only, please)

Anything not directly accounted for here is part of a Marxist plot to dethrone him as king of the demons. He has professional taste testers (siblings) to verify he is not being poisoned.

15 comments:

spyscribbler said...

LOL! Demon Baby is the cutest!! Maple oatmeal is a staple for me, as well as noodles with butter and salt.

I really like plain food. Lately, I've been eating brown rice incessantly, with umi vinegar.

And boy, do I go through those maraschino cherries. Food of the gods. I also LOVE olives, but I bet he's not too keen on them!

Erica Orloff said...

Spy:
No can do on the olives. But it amuses me to no end you both eat the same foods.
E

Jude Hardin said...

Sounds like he's pretty much a vegetarian. It's not a bad diet, really, if you could somehow manage to sneak some broccoli in there somewhere. ;)

Lauren said...

Demon Baby is awesome.

I agree with the peanut butter sandwich for breakfast sans crust, and honestly, it's very healthy. Good protein and good carbs--and there is something wrong with crusts...surely others besides Demon Baby and I feel it. I still feed my crusts to the dog. :)

Erica Orloff said...

Jude:
Well, I'm a vegetarian since I have developed this anaphylactic shock reaction to tuna :-(

So I make a lot of noodles with veggies--and he eats it without the veggies.
E

Erica Orloff said...

Lauren:
The birds get his crusts. :-) Nothing goes to waste.
E

Aimless Writer said...

I have a lot of the same food habits so I can't laugh. Especially the peanut butter part.

Erica Orloff said...

Aimless:
At least he is in good company.
E

Robin said...

Maybe Demon Baby is secretly very gentle, but he's been poisoned by maraschino cherries. I'm calling CSI Miami. We'll be there shortly.

laughingwolf said...

ok, i'll bite: how does one have mexican takeout WITHOUT spices?

Erica Orloff said...

Robin:
LOL!

That's it, of course.
E

Erica Orloff said...

Laughing Wolf:
Demon Baby's father is Mexican. There is apparently some kind of logic that goes with his genetic background and Mexican food that allows him to eat it. I gave up trying to figure it out.
E

pita-woman said...

Pizza for breakfast... my kind of kid!!
I've never understood people (kids or adults) wanting the crust cut off their sandwiches. I love the crust!!
As for eating salt out of his navel... that one pretty much leaves me scratching my head!

Erica Orloff said...

pita woman:
Naked belly button salt eating is a sight, is all I can say.
E

zoewinters said...

LMAO @ the foods touching other foods thing.

And I'm totally with him on the apples with the peeling on thing. Gross. I mean I understand it has all the vitamins and pectin and blah blah blah, but, I do not care. I HATE the texture of the peelings.

And I like to dip my apples in peanut butter.