I like to garden. And today was the day to get rid of the detritus of winter leaves and overgrown grasses and set about fixing my flowerbeds and all my potted plants. Demon Baby LOVES to help me garden. It's a chance to:
1) Play in dirt
2) Turn dirt to mud with a watering can
3) Collect earthworms, which he tries to keep as pets
In reference to #3, I was sitting on my formal living room couch last night and spotted a worm wriggling across my hardwood floors. It was midnight. I was tired. I couldn't decide if I was hallucinating, but upon closer inspection, yes, it was a real live fat earthworm.
In any case, gardening with Demon Baby is, like EVERYTHING, quite an adventure. However, we have some very, VERY basic problems as far as his understanding of the garden. Hence . . . the conversation today.
"Where is the wand from my bubbles?"
"Inside the jar of bubbles. Why?"
"I need to plant it."
"But then bubbles will grow and blow over the garden all the time and it will be really cool."
"But it's plastic."
"It's a magic bubble wand."
"All right, Demon Baby, plant it."
So he embedded his pink plastic bubble wand in the middle of my basil.
"I need popcorn."
"Snack time is later."
"No. I'm going to plant it so I can have popcorn whenever I want."
"Popcorn doesn't grow, Demon Baby."
"It's magic popcorn."
"Plant away, Dude."
So I am growing, this season, tomatoes, parsley, oregano, basil, lots of flowers, arugula, bubbles, and popcorn.
I'm a cross between an organic farmer and Orville Redenbacher.