Monday, April 20, 2009

A Conversation No Mother of a Non-Demon Baby will EVER Have

Naked Demon Baby approached me today. "MOM! My penis hurts."

"Hmm . . . maybe you just need a shower. After breakfast, it's bathtime for you."

"No, it really hurts."

"All right, well, after bathtime I'll check it out."

"I think it might be from the box."

"What box?"

"I put it in the box."

"Box?"

"The candy box."

"Let me get this straight, you put your penis in a candy box?"

"Yeah. And it hurt."

"What kind of candy box?"

"You know, the one that you fill it with candy and it pops out . . . the one that the Easter Bunny gave me."

"YOUR RABBIT PEZ DISPENSER?!?"

"Yeah. The Pez dispenser."

"Just so I've got this straight . . . you put your penis in a Pez dispenser."

"Yeah. And it pinched it and hurt."

"So don't put it in a Pez dispenser, okay?"

"All right."

Penis Crisis of 2009 . . . Solved.

17 comments:

Nessa said...

Oh my...! lol

Erica Orloff said...

Nessa:
Like I said . . . NOT a typical conversation. :-)
E

Realmcovet said...

Haha! Me & Pez go WAY BACK!! What I would'nt have done fer a PENIS PEZ dispenser when I was a wee little lad. Yer guy is TOP NOTCH!

Erica Orloff said...

Realm:
Yeah . . . his approach to Pez is . . . well, interesting. I don't know that I will look at the dispensers the same way again.
E

Travis Erwin said...

The words penis and putting it in the Candy Box could draw some really interesting google searches.

Erica Orloff said...

Travis:
Yeah, well, considering I also recently blogged about worms . . . who KNOWS what will drive people here. ;-)
E

Melanie Avila said...

Tears, streaming.

Erica Orloff said...

Melanie:
He told his Oldest Sister about this on their daily call. I don't think she believed him/us. She then called him a psycopath. ;-)

E

Merry Monteleone said...

LOL...

You know, in a few years he's going to be really miffed that you advertised the fact that he could fit the penis in the pez dispenser...

Robin said...

Note to self: Never accept a Pez from Demon Baby.

Jax Music Supply said...

Hi Erica. I think Demon has been watching too much SNL:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhwbxEfy7fg

Luckily he did not do this when he visited last week! Jack

Erica Orloff said...

merry:
Well, I will merely point to all the damage he's done to the house from the water damage in the ceiling to broken bannisters and consider us even. ;-)
E

Erica Orloff said...

Robin:
Wise words.
E

Erica Orloff said...

Jax:
As SOON as he said "box" I thought of that. ;-) See, those head writers on SNL have nothing on my real life. :-)
E

spyscribbler said...

Ee-ouch! The thought makes me cringe!

Erica Orloff said...

Spy:
I know. Unusual torture device.
E

Melanie Avila said...

Robin, I'm with you!!