1. You have a shop vac for both upstairs and downstairs. You never put them away. You don't even bother to unplug them.
2. The carpet cleaning man is on speed dial.
3. You start to believe you really HAVE grown eyes on the back of your head.
4. Silence, which you used to enjoy, now means it is too quiet and he is obviously up to something.
5. When you go anywhere in public, complete strangers come over to you and remark something along the lines of, "That is the smartest, most talkative, cute, energetic boy I have ever seen. He should be in commercials. But I feel SO sorry for you."
6. You start thinking naked is the new normal. And CLOTHES are odd.
7. Exhaustion is your new normal.
8. You take great comfort, and tuck away in your brain, stories from mothers whose kids were a lot like Demon Baby but grew up to be successful people with no trips to reform school or the state penitentiary. You want to hug these mothers when they tell you their stories.
9. You buy more of these than any human being ought to.
10. When he's sleeping, you occasionally look for the telltale 666 behind his ear, but finding none, you usually lie down next to him and just watch him sleep, knowing he is the most special boy in the whole world.