Monday, April 27, 2009

The Many Faces of Demon Baby

As a writer, I don't take photos of my kids like normal moms. No . . . I tend to take a picture and then think "What does it SAY?" This top one, to me, says, "Yes, I am cute and I know it."

While this one says, "HEY LADY, I told you ONE picture, not two!" [He is camera shy.]

But this last one is classic Demon Baby, "Come near me with that camera and I'll knock you out with my shovel and bury you until the tide comes in."
True story . . . I think it would not be normal if I didn't occasionally wonder . . . "Am I doing ANYTHING right with this kid?" After all, this weekend alone, he painted my bathroom with blue toothpaste, found a hole in the family room couch and pulled ALL the stuffing out of it to make "snowballs" with it, broke one glass candleholder (this is what I get for not having a house made entirely of rubber with him), and tried to freak me out by pretending to swallow a handful of marbles. Ha, ha. Yeah, he keeps me laughing all right. If he does THAT at age 4, I wonder what he will pretend to do at age 12. I shudder.
Anyway, this weekend, he took a bath (but didn't wash his hair, which is something I only do once a week since it involves my wrestling him like a WWF fighter). As I toweled him off, we went and sat in the big chair in my bedroom and I wrapped him up and we snuggled for a while. As we did, I kept putting my fingers through his wet hair, which caused it to spike straight up--and I said, "You look really cute with your hair spiked."
"STOP!" he shrieked.
Suddenly there was a torrent of tears.
"What is the matter, Demon Baby? You don't like your hair spiked?" I started flattening it down.
"I don't want you to spike my hair."
"How come?"
"Because then I won't look just the way I am. And you always say you love me JUST the way I am."
After I brushed away a stray tear, I thought, "All right, if that's the message he's getting . . . I must be doing something right."


Melanie Avila said...

Aww. That's so sweet that despite the endless ways he finds to torment you, your approval is still the most important thing to him.

Erica Orloff said...

I know. Makes me feel like less than an abject failure as a mother. LOL!

conley730 said...

I teared up reading that. Kids really can say the sweetest things.

Robin said...

He really is a sweet little demon. It makes you wonder whether Satan was a mommy's boy. He could have been. There's no good documentation.

spyscribbler said...

Awww, that is fantastic! You've got him programmed young. Hopefully no one will ever hold a candle to the installation. (Good god. I'm having trouble with words today. This is EXACTLY how my writing has been today. You know what I mean, right?)

Nessa said...


Cheryl Kauffman said...

Kids seem to sense when you have had it, and then they go and say the sweetest things and make you forget why you were mad.

Erica Orloff said...

I know. Makes you forget the monster moments.

Erica Orloff said...


Erica Orloff said...

That's always my greatest wish, that they retain the innate sense that they are loved.

Erica Orloff said...



Erica Orloff said...

It's called self-preservation. LOL!