Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Babysitter

Realistically speaking, when you have a Demon Baby, you don't torture some poor, unsuspecting babysitter with him. Realistically speaking, few people in the universe can handle him. RELATIVES who are supposed to LOVE him can barely handle him.

But today, just this once, Demon Baby is having a babysitter because the choice was either a) hire a babysitter, or b) find me a strait jacket, because Oldest Daughter graduates high school today and there is NO WAY he is sitting through a multi-hour ceremony downtown.

I pay my babysitters REALLY well. Above the going rate. I call it the Demon Surcharge.

Pray for my babysitter today.

10 comments:

conley730 said...

LOL @ Demon Surcharge! I've never had real babysitters for my guys either. I wouldn't want to stick some poor unsuspecting babysitter with my twin tornadoes. Usually my mom, their dad or my best friend watch them when I need to do something I can't get done with them in tow. Too bad I don't have an older child that can watch them.

spyscribbler said...

Now see, as soon as a parent tells me she's afraid I won't be able to handle her child, I'm so there, LOL.

Demon's got a good heart. Plus he's fun, and I like the way he sees the world. And babysitting is at your house, right, so if anything gets broken, LOL ...

Melanie Avila said...

Erica, I recently started reading this blog and I love it!

Robin said...

As a kid I always judged babysitting jobs by the food in the pantry. Can't you just bribe unsuspecting teenagers with Chunky Monkey and Double Stuffed Oreos?

Erica Orloff said...

Conley:
He's had a "real" babysitter about twice.

She survived.

She even said he was, and I quote, "angelic."

She's 14, but clearly she was hitting the sauce.

E

Erica Orloff said...

Spy:
You're welcome to try your hand with Demon Baby anytime. Like if you feel an urge for children? He is birth control. Or if you feel like perhaps you want your hair to turn white and don't want to visit a salon to achieve the look? Come on by. ;-)
E

Erica Orloff said...

melanie:
Thanks.

I hope when my little guy is older and reads this blog, he realizes it is written with nothing but love and affection for his Demonic ways.

E

Erica Orloff said...

Robin:
Ben and Jerry's Strawberry Cheesecake, fresh bag of chips, Diet Coke. And . . .


WAIT FOR IT.

Pass to the country club pool and instructions, "ORDER WHATEVER YOU WANT FROM THE SNACK BAR."

Plus $80 for the day.

spyscribbler said...

Ohmigosh, you DO treat your babysitters well!

"Angelic?" That's hilarious. My eyes bugged out when I read that. :-)

Erica Orloff said...

Spy:
I know. ANGELIC. Her exact, unprompted word choice.

And yeah, I take very good care of my babysitters and always have (long before Demon Baby). I feel like, I am asking someone to watch the little people I love most, and why would I NOT treat that as a very important job worthy of decent pay and so on.

E