Thursday, June 12, 2008

Survivor

Life with Demon Baby is like a reality show.

Imagine . . . you are in the shower, naked, soaped up, shampoo in your hair. You hear someone trying to break down the bathroom door with an axe. What do you do?

You don't even rinse, you run, dripping wet (trying not to slip and kill yourself) and open the door to find . . . not an axe murderer, but Demon Baby, using a heavy book as a hammer and trying to break down the door so he can . . . "keep you company."

How fast can you race up a flight of stairs before he hurls a container of yogurt over the balcony landing?

Can you rescue the dog with irritable bowel before Demon Baby feeds him M&Ms and corn?

I can imagine the show, the challenges. It's not for the faint of heart.

And that is why babysitters and family members don't "watch" Demon Baby. They "survive" him.

Our babysitter "survived" on Tuesday.

11 comments:

spyscribbler said...

ROFL ... reading about his adventures is much more fun than surviving them, I bet! :-)

Erica Orloff said...

Spy:
My nerves, I have to be honest, are frayed. But they are good stories to regale my friends with.
E

Melanie Avila said...

LOL! M&Ms and corn...

Erica Orloff said...

Melanie:
The items these dogs have been fed boggles the mind--marshmellows, Fruit Loops, corn, M&Ms, Skittles. Anything he eats he thinks is fine for them. And no amount of . . . dog indigestion . . . seems to convince him otherwise.
E

Suzanne Perazzini said...

I agree with spyscribbler - much better reading about his adventures than experiencing them. A bit like the TV programme really. I love to watch it but participate? I don't think so.

The Anti-Wife said...

Hi! I'm with the others. Love reading about him!

Erica Orloff said...

Suzanne, Anti-Wife:
I agree. It's like watching Cheaper By the Dozen. I always WANTED a dozen kids. Even fully planned to adopt two more (for a half-dozen). But right now, Demon wears me out. Anyway, when I see that Cheaper By the Dozen movie . . . it looks so fun. But REALLY? I would be dead. LOL!
E

Robin said...

Maybe this is sort of shallow, but all I can think is, "Man! She must be in really good shape!"

Aimless Writer said...

I come here when I need a smile. lol I love his imagination and ingenuity.

Erica Orloff said...

Robin:
I wish I was. :-)

I used to walk about 5 miles a day, but he won't sit still in the jogger stroller anymore, and he can't walk fast enough to keep up with me doing it as exercise. So I have totally slacked.

E

Erica Orloff said...

Hi Aimless:
Thanks! That's sweet of you to say.

E