Saturday, June 21, 2008

Sleep Lust

My life has had a very obvious progression. Clive Owen used to be my major lust. I've seen all Clive's movies. I've even seen his BBC series before he was famous. I imagined one day I would run off with Clive Owen.

Somewhere along the way, I moved on. To Anthony Bourdain. Perhaps I realized that I didn't particulary suit someone as suave as Clive. No . . . I would be better off with a chef who can knock back a few shots after work, who can stay up all night. When you have four kids, staying up all night is a reality much of the time. If I'm not being awakened by Demon Baby or waiting for the sound of Oldest Daughter's car to come into the driveway after her part-time job at a restaurant . . . it's Baby Girl's nightmare or Oldest Boy's migraine. In short, it's always something. So Anthony became my new lust.
When sleep deprivation reached epic proportions, the assorted men on Demon Baby's favorite morning pre-school shows started to look good to me. Steve from Blues Clues started looking quite handsome in his green-striped shirt. But I soon settled on the Blue Wiggle as my lust and point of fascination. Even wearing his Blue Wiggle shirt, Anthony (another Anthony) looked quite handsome to me. In a suit, he's rather dreamy.

Now? Quite frankly, all I lust after is SLEEP. I would write a check for all the money in my checking account (admittedly not much) for ONE SOLID NIGHT'S SLEEP. No one waking me at two a.m. No Demon Baby nightmares or crying out for me. No Baby Girl climbing in my bed and kicking me (she is a first-class kicker). No Oldest Daughter stomping up the stairs late at night (she's not angry--just has a heavy footfall). I lust for a quiet room, maybe some soft classical music. And sleep.
Since Demon Baby's arrival three years ago . . . my priorities have entirely changed. I have Sleep Lust not Clive Lust.


spyscribbler said...

Awww, I bet! Although, with DH away, I think I wouldn't mind seeing Clive Owen when I roll over in bed. *dreamy sigh*

Erica Orloff said...

Believe me, I wouldn't push Clive outta bed. But I might say, "Afterwards, no cuddling. Just roll over and let me sleep."


Robin said...

My father wrote an article for his 50th highschool reunion. He said that at his stage of life, all he wanted was an egg.

Suzanne Perazzini said...

I've just read the last two posts and I really do feel for you. I must admit I breastfed Dario until he was three - only at bedtime by then but it had become a habit. One day, I said, "Let's not do this any more." He said, "OK." and that was that. I guess it was me needing it more than him.
Can't your hubby do night duty every now and then so you can go sleep in a locked room? Or maybe he works nights, if I remember well?

Erica Orloff said...

That made me laugh out loud.

Funny . . . Oldest Daughter is REALLY into fashion--wears Chanel and Gucci. Me? I am the one shopping for "nice-looking sweatpants" which is about the extent of my wardrobe. At ONE time, I lived near Manhattan and dressed funky all the time. Now? Flannel pj bottoms and t-shirts.


Erica Orloff said...

Works nights. It so sucks. LOL! I am a widow for all intents and purposes. He leaves before they get home from school and comes home in the wee hours. It's really "not working" for me. And after Oldest goes off to college this fall, there will be a "come to Jesus" meeting, especially since I earn 5 times as much . . . and sleep the least.


Melanie Avila said...

I've been thinking about this post for a couple days and I most definitely have Clive lust. But I agree with the no cuddling bit. ;)

Erica Orloff said...

LOL! I am always one step from exhaustion, to that rule is pretty iron-clad.

kathulhu said...

I've always thought the Blue Wiggle was kinda cute and he resembles Clive Owen. In fact, he was the only reason I even let my kids watch the wiggles. I LOVE Clive Owen. Yum!