But the armlets are doubly cool because Demon Baby is now convinced that I, yours truly, am a pirate.
It all started a few days ago when I was laughing really hard and he noticed way, way back on my last molar, I have a gold cap.
"Open your mouth?"
I did and he was AMAZED. "You have a gold tooth!"
"I do." I lowered my voice to a whisper. "Because I'm a pirate."
He looked at me a little askance.
"No really," I said.
"Then where's your ship?"
"I'm retired. The ship is in dry dock. It's called the Jolly Mama."
"Why did you retire?"
"I got pregnant . . . and the high seas are really bad for morning sickness. So being as I wanted desperately to be a mother, I gave up my life as a pirate to be your mama. And maybe someday, when you are all grown up, we will take up pirating together. A mother-son pirate ship."
"Don't you miss it?"
"Occasionally, the lure of the high seas calls me, but I have YOU. Any Mama Pirate worth her pirate salt would give it all up for a chance to be your mother."
He seemed satisfied.
Then, today, I was dropping him off at church preschool. He held my hand as we crossed the parking lot.
"I can't tell anyone about your pirate days, can I?"
"Not even for show and tell?"
"Can I tell them you have a gold tooth?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. A very clever person might figure it out. Put all the clues together. Like your new pirate armbands."
"All right, then."
I kissed him good-bye and got down on my knees to look him in the eyes, which I always do when I say good-bye to him. He patted my cheek, "You are the bestest mother."
"Thanks," I hugged him good-bye. And as I walked out of the preschool building, I thought, Yeah. Giving up the high seas was totally worth it.