Thursday, March 26, 2009

When You're Mama is a Pirate

First of all, this picture is for Realm. She is the totally coolest chicka in the universe because she mailed Demon Baby these skeleton armlets that he wore ALL day yesterday (naked of course), but then when I took him out for lunch and he got dressed, he wore them downtown to the semi-snooty French place wearing all black and the armlets and rocked it out.
But the armlets are doubly cool because Demon Baby is now convinced that I, yours truly, am a pirate.
It all started a few days ago when I was laughing really hard and he noticed way, way back on my last molar, I have a gold cap.
"What's that?"
"Open your mouth?"
I did and he was AMAZED. "You have a gold tooth!"
"I do." I lowered my voice to a whisper. "Because I'm a pirate."
He looked at me a little askance.
"No really," I said.
"Then where's your ship?"
"I'm retired. The ship is in dry dock. It's called the Jolly Mama."
"Why did you retire?"
"I got pregnant . . . and the high seas are really bad for morning sickness. So being as I wanted desperately to be a mother, I gave up my life as a pirate to be your mama. And maybe someday, when you are all grown up, we will take up pirating together. A mother-son pirate ship."
"Don't you miss it?"
"Occasionally, the lure of the high seas calls me, but I have YOU. Any Mama Pirate worth her pirate salt would give it all up for a chance to be your mother."
He seemed satisfied.
Then, today, I was dropping him off at church preschool. He held my hand as we crossed the parking lot.
"I can't tell anyone about your pirate days, can I?"
"Not even for show and tell?"
"Can I tell them you have a gold tooth?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. A very clever person might figure it out. Put all the clues together. Like your new pirate armbands."
"All right, then."
I kissed him good-bye and got down on my knees to look him in the eyes, which I always do when I say good-bye to him. He patted my cheek, "You are the bestest mother."
"Thanks," I hugged him good-bye. And as I walked out of the preschool building, I thought, Yeah. Giving up the high seas was totally worth it.


pita-woman said...

Aww, that made me a bit misty-eyed. **sniff**

Cheryl Kauffman said...

I love this age when kids believe anything you tell them and they think you are the best thing in the world. He is probably just bursting, dying to tell his friends.

Realmcovet said...

That is the most ADORABLE picture of him!! I love it!! I was worried they would be too big.

Love the pirate story. You totally speak the pirate jargon!!! You RAWK! Most definately worth it...

Erica Orloff said...

Hi Pita-Woman:
Aww . . . thanks. :-)


Erica Orloff said...

Being as I have one adult child, one teen, and an 11-year-old, I know that feeling doesn't last FOREVER. :-)


Erica Orloff said...

Love you bunches. They made his day, his week, his dreams!

Nessa said...

LOL. thanks for making me laugh, youre one awesome mama-pirate.

Erica Orloff said...

I need an imagination to keep up with him. ;-)

Melanie Avila said...

I absolutely LOVE this! It's no wonder your children have such vivid imaginations. :)

Shauna said...

I discovered your blog through a friend of a friend of a friend's blog...I kinda lost track of exactly where I found myself here, but your son's antics have me ROLLING! I have 2 kids myself, and all I can say is I am SOOOO glad I'm not in your shoes half the time! lol And I certainly think you do an AMAZING job with fostering instead of squashing his creativity!

laughingwolf said...

uh... the response should've been: and you're the bestest demon baby! :O

[word verif: dingshin]

Erica Orloff said...

Yeah . . . I'm not ever too surprised.

Erica Orloff said...

Thanks. Some of it is just I probably have given up. Some of it is he's a late-in-life baby and he just amuses me to no end. And the biggest part of it, I suppose, is I can't imagine squashing who he seems to inherently be.

Erica Orloff said...


I think he knows, but I do remind him. :-)

Travis Erwin said...

Shiver my timbers. You are one bad ass momma and I mean that in the best way possible.