Thursday, February 5, 2009

Dear Eureka

I salute you.

Granted . . . no one is supposed to have to take apart the entire vacuum cleaner, piece by piece and screw by screw. No one should have to run the extension hose through hot water in the bath tub for an hour until the encrusted Cheetos begin to disintegrate.

No one should have to remove all the canisters to cleanse them of orange dust like some bad sci-fi movie gone awry.

The rollers on the bottom of the machine aren't really meant to roll through Cheeto and toothpaste cement.

But the machine runs. And my Oldest Son probably learned a little bit of mechanical engineering, to boot. He is 13. When he grows up, perhaps you can give him a job in your design department. He has some ideas on how to make your product even better, honed from this entire experience.

Does it pick up as phenomenally as it did three days ago when it was new, before the Cheetos Debacle of 2009?

Of course not. In fact, it now probably runs about as well as my old one, which defeated the purpose of getting a new vacuum.

However, it DOES run.

So after the final destruction of the earth, when only cockroaches and rats will survive, they will have clean carpets once they mutate and figure out how to run them.

I notice you do not have a label on your boxes "Demon-Baby Proof" or "Demon Baby's Mother's Seal of Approval." But I salute you, nonetheless.

It runs.

The insides are oily with Cheetos residue, but . . . you, Sirs, have a good product.

Sincerely,


Demon Baby's Mother

18 comments:

Robin said...

That was so sweet of oldest son! And wicked smart, too. I don't think my dimwits know where we keep the screwdrivers.

Erica Orloff said...

Robin . . .

LOL!!!!! I am sure they do. Or they have other wonderful skillsets not involving tools. ;-)

E

Melanie Avila said...

ROFLMAO! Well done. :)

Erica Orloff said...

Melanie:
Gracias.

:-)

E

fakefrenchie said...

Well done. I introduced my friend to your demonbaby blog. She is convinced that she has Demon Baby II. She laughed about your adventures with DB. Just so you know your not alone.

Erica Orloff said...

FF:
Nice to know there are other Ninja Mamas out there battling the dark forces.
E

zoewinters said...

Send it, Send it!

spyscribbler said...

Hah! Hilarious! That is AWESOME! I really love to take apart stuff. I've got my brand new printer on the floor now, although I think I voided the warranty and I didn't manage to fix it yet. :-(

momcat said...

Thats how handy people learn how to be handy by taking things apart and putting them back together again but I think it would be best if you let you son practice on something old next instead of your new and expensive vacuum. But congratulate him anyway on getting it back together and getting it to work again!

Jude Hardin said...

Is it a bagless? if so, a new filter might restore its performance.

Erica Orloff said...

Zoe:
You are so funny!!!
E

Erica Orloff said...

spy:
It actually had fewer parts than I would have thought!
E

Erica Orloff said...

momcat:
Well . . . I had made him feel bad . . . "What were you thinking just vacuuming up 5,000 cheeseballs?!?!" But then I told my dear friend Richard about it and he said, "He's a guy. That's what vaccums are for!" ANYWAY, the vacuum was destroyed already, so when he came and said, "I'm going to fix it," I thought . . . what more can be done to this poor Electrolux? Go to it, Buddy.

E

Erica Orloff said...

Jude:
Bagless. And actually, I am off to Lowe's today.

E

Sarah Laurenson said...

I think Zoe's right. Send the letter to Eureka. They'd get a kick out of it and who knows, maybe you'd get a new vacuum.

laughingwolf said...

methinks a new machine should be forthcoming, post haste ;) lol

good on the older son!

Erica Orloff said...

Sarah:
From your lips to Eureka's ears.
E

Erica Orloff said...

laughing wolf:
I'll keep you posted.
E