I now know that Demon Baby is actually the reincarnation of Hugh Hefner. Yes, I realize Hef isn't dead yet, but he's PRACTICALLY dead, at like, what? Eighty-something?
You see, Demon Baby got a new bathrobe. He's never had one before . . . but I dug his brother's old one out of a box of clothes I saved. It's brown and fleece and very warm. After Demon Baby's last ritualistic Ninja bath, I held out the bathrobe.
"Your lips are blue from being in the tub so long. This will warm you up."
[Note: He takes FREEZING cold baths . . . his choice.]
He shrugged and put it on.
"You look handsome in in it," I offered.
Demon Baby snuggled in, then went off to play. About an hour later he returned--still (!!) in his bathrobe. This was like a new record of non-nakedness.
"I like my bathrobe."
"Wanna know why?"
"Sure . . . " I said. But deep down, I thought, do I really want to know why?
"Because, when you wear a bathrobe, you can be totally NAKED underneath, but no one has to KNOW you're naked. So it's like you're SECRETLY naked. Even in front of company."
"Good to know, Demon Baby."
As he walked off, I suddenly glimpsed him, head of an empire of near-naked Demons. And I thought . . . my God . . . my kid is a junior Hefner.