Sunday, February 8, 2009

Dear Ziploc



I thought I would write to you and tell you about an ingenius and devious new use for your products that I am fairly certain you had not thought of when you created your Ziploc resealable bags.

Yesterday, my son, a.k.a. Demon Baby, took two boxes of Ziploc bags--which you tout for keeping food so fresh--and hid them, unbeknownst to me. Later, he filled them all with water and made water balloons with them when I thought he was merely going potty.

First, may I tell you that hurled, the Ziplocs indeed kept in the water. Bravo for your engineers! However, when Demon Baby decided to start hiding the water balloons under couch cushions and carpets for people to step and sit on . . . the seals . . . not so much. Perhaps you can work on that.

May I also tell you that gallon Ziplocs seem to hold even MORE than a gallon of water. In fact, they seem to hold a small pond of water. Particularly when they are spilled on my family room floor. Just TWO gallon bags in there were able to flood the entire den. Fascinating! And again, bravo for you!

I have been a loyal Ziploc user for many years now. However, now I will be storing your products under lock and key. Warning labels might be appropriate, too. Caution: Not intended as water balloon projectiles.

Sincerely,

Demon Baby's Mother

15 comments:

Lauren said...

Wow, that's pretty smart of him. Evil, but very smart. :)

And funny. Little practical jokester. To think some kids use whoppie cushions. Ziplock cushions are so much more unique.

Erica Orloff said...

Lauren:
Believe it or not . . . I did not get as upset over this as, say, the Eureka vacuum disaster . . . because a) Ziplocs are cheaper, and b) I had to give him credit for being really creative and smart. I mean really . . . who would think of such a thing at age 3?!?!?!?!
E

Cheryl Kauffman said...

I think it is great you are so patient and give your kids room for creativity. I wish I had your patience.
I saw a commercial on ABC last night for a new show with Cheryl Hines that uses real stories from mothers about funny things their kids do. You and Ello could probably be full time writers with all the material you have.

Erica Orloff said...

Cheryl:
LOL . . . I probably could.

I would never want to give the impression I don't yell, occasionally lock myself in the bathroom and cry . . . and don't PRAY. A LOT! I try at the end of the day to accept his mayhem with the patience of a woman who realizes she has healthy children with enough food in their bellies and so on. I know I am lucky in the grand scheme of things. But no . . . um . . . the water balloons under the carpet didn't thrill me and there was definitely a moment of WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?!?!

:-)

Richmond Writer said...

My daughter just finished Marley and Me and says at the end of the book the author notes that he has another dog now. This one is calmer and he tells the dog, I won't be writing a book about you, you don't do anything.

I told my daughter the most interesting stories come from the people who push the limits. That was funny. Thank heavens it didn't occur to him to use food coloring!

So when will you be getting him an ant farm?

Erica Orloff said...

Richmond:
HOWL! No ant farm!!!

he does, come spring, collect earthworms. He puts them all in one of my planters. Then he begs me to let him keep them in the house.

But no ants.

Jude Hardin said...

That's why I use Hefty.

Zoe Winters said...

Send it, send it! You could go on a wacky letter writing campaign and send all these letters out. I'm sure you'd get some interesting replies.

And WOW, that IS creative and smart for age 3. I forget he's 3. He seems about 6 or 7 with how smart he is.

Erica Orloff said...

Jude:
LOL!
E

Erica Orloff said...

Zoe:
There may be a book in there somewhere. My God, if I thought of every product he used in unusual ways.
E

Melanie Avila said...

OMG!

I like Zoe's idea for a book of letters. :)

laughingwolf said...

wait til he discovers what condoms can be used for :O lol

Robin said...

I'm impressed that Ziplocks don't break when hurled. Strong suckers.

Erica Orloff said...

Laughing wolf:

Oh, . . . I will rue the day.

E

Erica Orloff said...

Robin:
I know . . . impressive.

E