1. This is the frigginest birthday ever.
Translation: This birthday was awesome.
2. I am NEVER going to kindergarten. Kindergarten is evil.
Translation: Even though it's a year and a half away, Mom, you will be spending a LOT of time getting acquainted with the principal.
3. My new bike is SW-EE-EE-EE-T!
Translation: Now I can REALLY scare my mom by riding at breakneck speeds.
4. Wait a minute . . . I'm not BIG. I thought I would wake up and be big.
Translation: I still don't get this whole growing up thing.
5. I'm going to drink my ice cream with a straw.
Translation: There really is no sense in giving me a spoon.
6. My pants are itchy.
Translation: I am going to be naked in about five seconds.
7. This shirt is too small on me.
Translation: See #6
8. I have an exceptional vocabulary.
Translation: See #2
9. I'm going to lick the salt shaker in this restaurant.
Translation: I hope the health inspector comes here regularly.
10. Will you come lay with me until I fall asleep. Otherwise I'm lonely.
Translation: Even though I am a Demon Baby, Mama, I will always love you, and I know you love me.
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10 comments:
Hahahaha! Great tranlations! I recently figured out that "Mom, I just wanted to tell you. . ." translates to "Mom, I did something that will really piss you off, and I know from experience that if I give you time to take a nice deep breath, you are less likely to kill me after you hear it."
Robin:
Yeah . . . anything that is precipitated by, "Mom, can we talk?" is NEVER good.
E
All love ALL the Demon Baby Quotes, but numbers 1, 5,6,7, and 8 are my FAVORITEST.
Number ten takes the cake though. Hands down.
There should be more mamas like you all across the land. Like a factory, that mass produces them in the way in which Twinkies and Ho-Hos and Vienna Sausage are made. That would be the BIZ-OMB.
Realm:
Love ya! :-)
Actually, #8 really cracked me up.
I am SO going to be on a first-name basis with the principal when he finally starts school.
They may even have a chair for me in the office with my name on a brass plate.
E
Oh goodness. :)
Melanie:
What can I say. It was the friggenist best!
E
#10 is my favorite too. I had a designated chair in the principal's office when my daughter was in elementary school. She was even threatened with expulsion in kindergarten! Hopefully, my 4 yr old son will not follow in her footsteps. Luckily, she has been good in middle school and a straight A student. Did he get the guitar he has been wanting?
Cheryl:
No guitar--yet (he has a BIG party on Sunday).
BUT, he has lately taken up drumming (his sister has a Yamaha jazz fusion set that she has somewhat abandoned for piano) . . . and the kid has rhythm. I have a headache.
;-)
E
"Can we talk?" in our household either means, "I need money" or "I have to talk to you about my deepest fears and there's no one else who will listen". I'm never sure which when the conversation starts.
Friggenist has just made its way into my vocabulary - I prefer not to swear so need alternatives.
Suzanne:
LOL! Thanks for sharing your household translation!!!
And between crapatastic and friggenest he deserves a spot in Webster's when they add new words.
:-)
E
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